Stupid Jokes;P

BOY : May I hold your hand?GIRL : No thanks, it isn't heavy.________________________________________GIRL : Say you love me! Say you love me!BOY : You love me...________________________________________GIRL : If we become engaged will you give me a ring??BOY : Sure, what's your phonenumber??_____________________________________________ __GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest.BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiestcouple_______________________________________________GIRL : Darling, I want to dance like this forever.BOY : Don't you ever want toimprove??____________________________________________ __BOY : I love you and I could die for you!GIRL : Howsoon??______________________________________________BOY : I would go to the end of the world for you!GIRL : Yes, but would you staythere??______________________________________________SHARON : Have you ever had a hot passionate, burning kiss??TRACY : I did once. He'd forgotten to take the cigarette out of hismouth._______________________________________________ _____________MAN : You remind me of the sea.WOMAN : Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting?MAN : NO, because you make mesick._______________________________________________ ____________WIFE : You tell a man something, it goes in one ear and comes out of the other.HUSBAND : You tell a woman something: It goes in both ears and comes out of themouth._______________________________________________ _____________________________MARY : John says I'm pretty. Andy says I'm ugly.What do u think, Peter?PETER : A bit of both. I think you're prettyugly.________________________________________________ _____________________________Girlfriend : "...And are you sure you love me and no one else ?"Boyfriend : "Dead Sure! I checked the whole list againyesterday"._____________________________________ ________________________________________Teacher : "Which is more important to us, the sun or the moon?"Pupil : "The moon".Teacher : "Why?"Pupil: "The moon gives us light at night when we need it but the sun givesus light only in the day time when we don't needit".____________________________________________ ____________________________________Teacher : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?"Pupil : "Ateacher"._______________________________________ ______________________________________Wait er : "Would you like your coffee black?"Customer : "What other colors do youhave?________________________________________________ ________________________________Teacher : "Sam, you talk a lot !"Sam : "It's a family tradition".Teacher : "What do you mean?"Sam : "Sir, my grandpa was a street hawker, my father is a teacher".Teacher : "What about your mother?"Sam : "She's awoman"._________________________________________ _______________________________________Tom : "How should I convey the news to my father that I've failed?"David: "You just send a telegram: Result declared, past year's performancerepeated".______________________________________ __________________________________________Teacher : "Now, children, if I saw a man beating a donkey and stopped him, what virtue would I be showing?"Student : "Brotherlylove".__________________________________________ ______________________________________Teacher : "Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating?"Sam : "No sir, I don't have to, my mom is a goodcook".__________________________________________ ______________________________________Patient : "What are the chances of my recovering doctor?"Doctor: "One hundred percent. Medical records show that nine out of tenpeople die of the disease you have. Yours is the tenth case I'vetreated. The others alldied".__________________________________________ ______________________________________Teacher : "Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?"One Student : "Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day and at the sametime."__________________________________________ ______________________________________Teacher: "George Washington not only chopped down his father's Cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn'tpunish him ?"One Student: " Because George still had the axe in is hand."